Just a couple of little tales this week.
Tubthumping…evidently not that popular:
So the other night I had the opportunity to go out with kind of a new group of friends. They are all pretty tight-knit, but I was kind of the 6th wheel to this thing, but one of my friends was nice enough to invite me along.
We all got drinks and were sitting down together. If you don’t know me, then it helps to explain that I am a dud in large social interactions in which I don’t know anyone. I make eye contact and smile at appropriate points, but you won’t hear me jumping in to make any jokes or add to the conversation. Even if someone does ask me a question, generally I’ll be so shocked that they asked me something that I’ll mumble a two or three word response and that will be the end of it.
Well, I should say that’s more how I used to be. I think one of the things that happens when you grow up is that you start to care less about what people think of you, and work to overcome your personality flaws (i.e. mine in this case is human social interaction). This explains why old people say what they want regardless of its philosophical or social appropriateness. For example at a recent family gathering one of the older people in my family said, “I’m rooting for Duke because they have more white people.” “Uhhhhh….”
So after those 20 digressions…
We were all sitting around and talking and my only good friend in the group got up and went to the bathroom. So it’s me and a few people that I’ve maybe hung out with twice in my life. One of them proceeds to say, “Yeah, we’re thinking about organizing random days off in the summer.” The group talked a while and decided that Thursdays would be a good random day to take off during a summer work week: Wednesday night drink specials, only have to go back to one day of work, etc. So the guy then asks, “What do you think we should call the days we take off? Party Thursdays? Trippin’ Thursdays?”
The filter in my head was removed and I just jumped in and was like, “You should call it Tubthumping Thursdays.” I thought it was genius… But I don’t even know if anyone else in the group knew what I was talking about. Immediately everyone looked away from me and a giant crater of an awkward pause opened up. This lasted for about 5 seconds. After the first 3 seconds I just started laughing and looked away from the group…because I didn’t know what the social etiquette was for laughing at your own joke that bombed, but not laughing at the joke so much as the awkwardness that it caused.
So after the 5 second pause the guy just goes: “We’ll think of something.”
Dreams Coming True:
If you are my Facebook friend (and I believe both of you who read this are…) then you will know that Number 23 on my “Things To Do Before I Die” list was accomplished this weekend.
I met Ryan Ross.
If you don’t know who that is, consider yourself much cooler than myself and go down about 6 entries and check out the “Sexypandadrunk” blog post from last summer.
The greatest thing about meeting Ryan Ross, however, was that he didn’t disappoint in his lameness. Remember how he use to ask the audience: “Hey guy! You like music? Yeah! Cool…well we’re going to play a song!”
Well, his new band got up on stage and Ry Ro (as my friend suggested I start calling him) got up to the mic. Inane banter followed which was the disappointment that we were all looking forward to. It was, however, about six songs in when Ry Ro topped all his previous efforts at awkward front guy greatness when he told the story of how the band wrote one song:
“Hey guys, so one time we all went to Africa and I met this girl. This girl and I banged and the next day I found out she was married! So I gave her my passport and I promised her that when her husband got out of jail, I would marry her! I wrote a song about it!”
*Ry Ro begins strumming*
One time I went to Africa
And I met a girl there.
We banged for a while
And then I gave her my passport
And said I would marry her someday!
Tears were streaming down my face at this point. Not only from the emotional depth of the lyrics, but that Ry Ro had fulfilled all our hopes for him.
They then got off stage and Foxy Shazam got up and played. They are awesome. I can’t even think of anything snarky or sarcastic to say about them. All you need to know is that the front man smashed a microphone stand over his neck and then proceeded to eat 7 lit cigarettes.
So after Foxy Shazam we discovered that Ry Ro was in the back by the merch stand. There was a line of like 5 teenage girls and then my friend and I. So after all the kids finished up I awkwardly walked over to him and was like:
“Hey, Ryan… Can I get a picture.” Picture was taken.
Then Ry Ro was like, “You’re too tall, dude.”
I said, “You want me to squat down.”
He said, “It’s too late, Man. It’s too late.”
I said: “Too bad, ‘cuz this shits going to be all over the Internet.”
That was it. Then I went to talk to my friends, but as I was walking away my other friend grabbed me to take her picture with Ry too.
So she gets next to him and I put the camera up. And I start taking video. So I’m like, “Duh! Sorry guys I took video.” Then I was panicking! to find the regular camera mode and it took me like 20 minutes. But I’m so glad I did, because it led to the awkward conversation that followed between my friend and Ry.
“Sorry about this,” my friend said.
“It’s cool, you know I could write an essay on how people can’t use their friends’ cameras. It happens all the time.” Ry Ro kept prattling, so that by the time I took the picture he looks bored and my friend has an expression on her face like, “Why is this guy still talking about writing an essay about cameras?”
Needless to say mine made the FB profile pic and hers didn’t.
I think that’s about it for me. I wish I had more fun stuff to write about, but basically all I do is work, school, work, Ry Ro, school, school, work. The Nana has been a disappointment lately too as I have been just folding and ‘processing’ in the back room. I think they finally realized I had no desire to push Nana Credit Cards on people and that I am awkward.
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