A Case of the Emos

Allison asked for another update…

So our next vacation from school is in about two weeks. Technically, 9 days, 6 hours and 52 minutes, but who’s counting? Okay, you got me, I am counting religiously because a vicious disease has broken out in our school. I still have no idea whether it is airborne or simple transmitted through shared use of the water fountain, but it has rippled through our upper level classes like the Bubonic Plague in Britain.

I’m talking, of course of the Emo virus, scientific name Teenagerus Emoobnoxioucus. A disease so prevalent in our middle school students, recent statistics show that 1/1.5 have contracted it. Symptoms include increased apathy, obnoxiousness, know-it-allness, and a 400% increase in their ability to piss me off. 

A case study to illustrate my point, a one Ambrosia:

Ambrosia use to be nice. She used to be sweet, do her work, answer questions, get perfect scores and think I was infallible. That last trait maybe ascribed to ignorance rather than a healthy immune system, but whatever. Since moving to middle school and contracting the Emos, Ambrosia has been so teenagerous it kills me. She still answers questions, but its with such an emo twang, I’d rather she just keep her mouth shut. For example:

Pre Emos Ambrosia:
Me: Where is Bangladesh?
A: (With a big grin and bow in her hair) It’s in Asia! It’s close to Indian, I think! You’re very handsome, Tedd!
Me: I know, right!

Post Emos:
Me: Where is Bangladesh?
A: (Smoking a cigarette with a flask on her desk*) It’s in Asia, duh! Can’t we do something else???!!!! This is boring. The other teachers are better!
Me: (Teeth Gritted) Thanks, Ambrosia.
*May possibly be an exaggeration.

It’s not just Ambrosia – I have seen numerous students fall victim to this ravaging disease. It’s not so bad when the boys get it because they just sit there like bumps. The girls are the ones who start talking back, twittering to their friends in class and stop doing their work. I’m working on a vaccine for my own future children. It mostly involves sending them to boarding school in Switzerland when they’re 12 and talking to them again after college.

With all that being said, vacation is going to be a much needed break. Lucci and I are going to China to visit one of our friends from school. It should be pretty awesome, although recently after hearing about all the pollution and dirtiness in China, I’m not quite as excited. The Great Wall is something I’ve always wanted to see though, so hopefully it won’t be covered in graffiti or home to two headed birds.

Our plan is to spend about 4 days in Beijing and then meet our buddy in Xi’an to see the Terracotta Warriors. The highlight might be spending May Day in Beijing. I’m actually pretty excited to see how the Chinese party. So far we haven’t had trouble booking anything so, hopefully it won’t be as crazy as what people have told us.

It’s actually kind of crazy that I only have 2 more vacations before I head home to the States. In July I think I’m going to just go around Korea – see the famous islands and hit some of the national parks. Right after I leave I’m going to go to Japan for a couple weeks and hike and see the sites. That would be the main spots I wanted to visit while over here. I was thinking about Thailand, but after a recent story from one of my friends about being bit by a monkey over there, I might just stick to China and Japan.

Well, if you read all of this remind me to buy you an ice cream when I get back to the States.