In Defence of Biebs

In Defence of Biebs

I don’t know why everyone pegged me with Bieber Fever. I think it all goes back to the fact that one weekend my friend started a thread regarding a party she was having through her grad school program. Did I respond to that thread with the video of Justin Bieber’s “Baby”? Yes. Did my buddy fall in love with Biebs and his bangs and play it every time I came over to visit? Of course. (Would I be friends with him otherwise?) Did those jam sessions lead to calling out “Baby, Baby, Baby – OooooooWWWwwwwww!” as if we were dying cats? Most definitely. Did a victorious game of beer pong with that friend and myself lead to the spontaneous creation of a chant called “Hail, Bieber! King of Pop! King of Pop!” complete with goose-stepping and arm waving. …Why do I do this to myself?

Okay, so I can see where the confusion comes in.

But when it comes down to it… The Biebs is really indefencible…however, that doesn’t preclude him from being indefensible. He makes catchy songs. He has long flowing locks. And my nieces like him and he doesn’t bang anyone, snort anything, or go clubbing. If the lyrics of his single “Eenie Meenie” mean anything either… He’s also a poetic genius. For example:

“She’s indecisive…
She can’t decide.”

Could the use of the same term in different iterations be a reflection of the lady in question’s own indecisive mind? Or is it just the possibility that most fourth graders don’t know what “indecisive” means? Scholars will probably debate for decades. Verily, it’s a work as dense as Joyce’s “Finnegan’s Wake” (Only, of course, with more pool parties and the word “Shawty” used repeatedly). In the end, Biebs is my boy. The most important reason?: 

He had ninjas in his last video.

I thought I Outgrew This:

I recently joined a new Bible study. It can be hard for me to get to church on Sunday mornings, not just because I’m lazy and go out a lot of Saturday nights, but also I travel a lot and stuff, so it’s just hard to get into a regular pattern. 

Well, I went last Monday for the first time and it was an eye opening experience. For the past year or so I have been in pretty safe social surroundings. I’ve had a couple jobs though and adapted to new people/friends/surroundings etc. So when I went to this group meeting, I expected myself not to be shy or awkward in any way – or at least not to an extreme degree.

The first night I made it through pretty decently. I talked once, but it came during a weird time in the conversation when half the people weren’t listening so it wasn’t that big of a deal. Well, I went again this week and decided I needed to say something. Another important thing to add is that these guys are really smart dudes. Grad school, professionals, etc. Words like “penultimate” and “demonstrative” were thrown around like confetti at my last Bieb-themed party.

Well, I started to say something and it was a trainwreck. My voice was shaky, I couldn’t look anyone in the eye, I mumbled some stuff. Really fantastic. By the end I was staring at the floor and speaking almost inaudibly to try and hide the shakiness in my voice. 

Ugh.

Now they probably think I’m the special kid in class. Which is fine. Pity is more powerful than respect, especially in Christian situations.

The one cool thing about it was the article we read for the meeting was really interesting. It was about kids in my generation and how they are really “moral” and “successful” in some senses, but there is this idea that they’ve lost a sense of their character or any really virtuous qualities. 

Deep stuff.

Anyway, I came across this quote from a crotchety old Princeton Man’s commencement speech. It’s probably one of the top two quotes that describes my philosophy on life: 

“…follow the voice that calls you in the name of God and of man. The time is short, the opportunity is great; therefore, crowd the hours with the best that is in you.”

Followed closely by:

“I throw my hands up in the air sometimes. Singing ‘Ay-Oh! Gotta let go!’ I’m gonna rock this club, gonna go all night. Gonna light it up, like it’s dyn-o-mite!”

They both basically mean the same thing.

Awkward Situations No. 307-308

The other night I was coming out of a bar and happened to run into one of my friends from college. We were all in varying states of inebriation, so regardless of the fact that we hadn’t seen each other or talked in months we acted as if we had been besties forever-forever-ever. His roommate was there as well and another friend I hadn’t met. I was introduced to the new friend, whom I promptly shook hands with. For some reason I opted for the double clasp handshake.

Double Clasp Handshake: Handshake often reserved for the upper class or well to do citizens of a community. Clasping of the extended left hand while then cupping the right hand over the clasped hands. All three hands are then vigorously pumped.

Even in the moment I was like “Who shakes hands like this?” But I didn’t have time to think about it because my friend was already starting a conversation. I had forgotten we had talked online that day and so he said: “I was just talking about gchat…” And all I could think of was “I love gchat!” It was only later when I was thinking about the incident and all its awkwardness that I realized that conversation could be taken out of a book called “Conversations for Dummies.”

“When one meets another for the first time it is always best to bring up a topic with a wide berth so as to evoke a spirit of inclusion. For instance, the weather is almost always brought up in new social settings as people all have varying reactions and thoughts about different weather patterns. Some love cloudy days, while others prefer the quiet falling of snow. Of even more importance than selection of a conversational topic is the opening response to any evoked question or lead statement. One should always show interest in whatever is being said, regardless of whether one has a detailed or interesting response. For instance if one person says “The weather is grand today!” a response of equal excitement should be spoken, i.e. “I love sunny days!” A response, which is negative serves only to stall the flow of talking and create open spaces of awkwardness” (“Conversations for Dummies” p. 204).

I don’t even know how long we talked about gchat before the other person they were with popped out of nowhere and greeted me with a lot of enthusiasm. I had heard through the grapevine that they had just got a new apartment and so we were continuing pleasantries, which eventually led to the standard “We should hang out sometime! I miss you guys!” coda, which all of these weird run-ins create. 

So I was like “Well, you guys are having a housewarming, right?” 

The highlight of this entire situation was the look on my friend’s roommate’s face when I said this. She was clearly like “Oh…crap…” and quickly recovered to be like “Yeah…” To which my friend said, “Don’t worry we’ll have another one!” 

Priceless. By this time the awkward had rained so heavily I was having to slog through it, so I just kind of was like: “Yeah!” Then parted.

Reflecting on such situations is often my favorite part of going out. In case you haven’t noticed dissecting and analyzing social situations is one of my fave things to do. And this was too perfect. I’m eagerly awaiting the invite to their Facebook event: “Housewarming II: All Our Awkward Friends We Didn’t Want to Meet the People We Actually Like.”