Master Yoon's Tale

Okay, so before this to make the impact that it did on Lucci, Haley and I, you need a little bit of background info.

So the three of us have been going to Taekwondo for the past few months (Lucci has been since June). Our class has two leaders: Master John and then a female instructor which we have affectionately nicknamed The Panda for her roly-poly appearance and her black-rimmed spectacles she wears to class. Above them is the director of our Taekwondo school whose name is Master Yoon. Master Yoon is an eighth degree black belt. He has been training in martial arts for 46 years. 

The road to a black belt takes roughly 1-3 years depending on how much you train. After you make it to black then you have to wait 2 years to be a 2nd degree. To be a third degree you have to wait 3 years. Master Yoon tests for his ninth degree black belt this spring (he became 8th degree in 1999). He has traveled around the world, was a Korean National Boxing Champion, National Taekwondo Champion, a golf pro, a certified physical therapist, and teaches one or two other forms of martial arts.

When he was 30 the Yoon moved to England where he subsequently opened 22 Taekwondo schools across the country. He made a ton of influential friends over there including great golfers, hair stylists, businessmen, and pretty much any other kind of important person imaginable (we don’t know about the Queen, we haven’t asked yet.)

Anyhoo, he informed us today that one day one of his Korean businessman friends needed a bodyguard for his meeting with the King of Turkey (I promise I’m not making this up.) Upon arrival in Turkey the businessman had a big party thrown in his honor--halfway through the party the King of Turkey (wow, it cracks me up just to type that)--The King of Turkey says he wants the Korean buisnessman’s bodyguard to fight his own personal bodyguard. The Korean businessman agreed and they placed a 100,000 dollar bet on the match.

Now it is important to mention that Master Yoon is probably 5’6” and weighs about 135. He’s strong like an ox, but if you saw him in a dark alley you would probably think nothing more than, “Hey, there’s a little man in a dark alley.” 

The King of Turkey’s bodyguard was roughly 6’6” and his physical build was described by Master Yoon by putting his arms out to his sides and saying “BIG!”.

The whistle blew and the two bodyguards went after each other. Evidently the battle raged for almost 30 minutes. The Turkish bodyguard kept trying to grapple and squeeze Master Yoon but Yoon was too quick and alluded him. 

Flashback to Taekwondo class on a previous day. We are learning fighting patterns; we have currently learned patterns 1-6. Master Yoon called Lucci over to him and said “Today we learn Fighting Pattern 100!” He proceeded to attack Lucci and throw a fist into the sight where Lucci’s future babies will come from. Lucci proceeded to jump away and squeal like someone just hit him where his future babies will come from. Master Yoon chuckled and said, “Number 100!”

As Master Yoon described the climax of his fight with the Turkish Monster he merely said, “And then I (arbitrary hand gesture) and he (Yoon grabs his throat and starts making gargling sounds).”

We all looked surprised. “So what happened?” We all said together.

Yoon looks at us with a sly smile and says, “Move number 1000.”

“1000?!” We shout in unison.

Yoon nods.

Evidently Yoon’s move was so potent it knocked the Turkish man unconscious and caused him to foam at the mouth. He won the fight and his businessman gave him the 100,000 dollar reward.

...

The validity of this story really doesn’t matter. The point is that in Haley, Michael and my mind Master Yoon is nothing short of legendary. Perhaps even at the level of Chuck Norris or Billy Blanks.

You don’t mess with Yoon.

The King of Turkey tried and look what happened...