Welcome to the Trainwreck: Europe Photo Blog

Curry Wurst is actually the best, except when it flies up your nose because you eat it too fast. Also I think everything called “Wurst” is hilarious. There was a restaurant just called “Wurst.” I feel like that would be the greatest name for a dive bar.

This was an interesting advertising choice…

The Homosexual Holocaust Memorial in Berlin is a cube that plays movies inside. It’s, like I don’t get it. Is it because the Jewish memorial is also cube-based? And why movies inside? I guess this art is too deep for me to understand.

I was so excited for Oktoberfest.

These playing cards started at 6. Then face cards were O, U, K, and A… We thought it was a German thing, but we made German friends and they said they had no idea what was going on. Either way, we got drunk and lost the cards.

This was one of the friends we made. He just started dancing for no reason. This was also why we became friends.

Everyone in Germany looks like me. It’s weird. I thought it was a joke that I looked German, but literally every street corner was: Taller Tedd, More Muscular Tedd, Tedd with Fashion Sense, Tedd with a Different Haircut, Tedd Protesting Something.

No joke, there were like 8000 protests in Berlin. (I may have taken this because of the hot cops in the foreground...)

This was my favorite pic from Oktoberfest. This guy could chug a Maße of beer in 10 seconds. That is a full liter of beer. Roughly 3 of our beers. At Oktoberfest you can get a full one and then stand on the table and chug it. People choose to do it. This guy did it twice in an hour. This was the result.

This guy likes ZZ Top. And Oktoberfest.

I took a selfie on a bike. I’m a huge douchebag.

This was my favorite part of the trip. Alps bike ride.

Then big, awesome castle tour.

It may come as a surprise, but this giant, garish, hilltop, Princess castle was built by a homosexual. Yep, King Ludwig II loved Richard Wagner. Like… a lot… like… so. Much. Like really a lot – they banged. Evidently if you ask the state tour guides in the castle of King Luddy was gay they say, “Well… he had a jewelry box.”

Another giant cube. Germans love cubes.

This is also my name used on OKCupid.

These people are sexy. They are posing sexy. But liederhosen is not sexy. Not even like a tiny bit.

We went to Oktoberfest again. We met another Tedd.

I mean, there is a giant, awesome palace in the background, but the real star of this is my urban hat.

I really want to be a Hapsburg.

I thought this was a man. And may have wanted to coat for like 5 seconds.

Bey has a Walgreen’s-level fragrances in Austria.

Embarrassing confession: I thought Wiener Schnitzel was hot dog/bratwurst-based, which was why it was called Wiener. Now I know that means it’s from Vienna. And everyone in Vienna is a Wiener.